he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
we should paint friendship bongs
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