this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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