I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.