I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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