I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap