hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
