you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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