dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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