There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
