I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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