i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
