my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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