i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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