Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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