Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Two words: nipple clamps
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