Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize