he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
