mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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