Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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