I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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