Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have aggressive nipples.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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