I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
