Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
