shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
where are you?
Hypothermia
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
