I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
