I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
