It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize