11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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