I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
