remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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