I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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