PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Randomize
