BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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