You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
do nipples grow back?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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