did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
