TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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