Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Still dying that you shit outside
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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