Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
