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Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
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