I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
