goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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