Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
