It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize