it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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