If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
