I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
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Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
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There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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