and you said cock pushups were impossible
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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