i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
