Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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