On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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