I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
