If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Every concussion has its silver lining
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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