the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
