guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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