This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
