you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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