omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
And then my night got REAL pukey
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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