Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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