I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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